Sunday, 22 November 2009

  • dogged.


    been hitting "previous entry" for the past hour or so,
    (since the boy friend's still occupied with a shoot and well,
    sunday nights are generally stay-home prep sessions for the monday-to-come)
    mindfully reflecting upon what i was like and how ive become.
    truth be told, i find it a little sad that i find little to write about,
    or rather, how little of myself i'm willing to share with myself
    (and maybe a few close friends here and there)

    either ways, i find myself unable to find the right selection of words
    to accurately convey my thoughts.

    writing (and then reading thru what ive written)
    used to make me really happy.

    it's not for the lack of effort though, the absence of entries..
    every time i get somewhere near a paragraph,
    i laugh at the foolishness of my musings,
    the child-like language - a terrific bastardization, an injustice to my thoughts. -
    that when properly expressed, could seem less dopey.
    and they get axed.

    i think with age comes the realization that one simply cannot hold on to dreams for much longer
    and it is in dreams that ones finds solace,
    the safe net that allows procrastination and other such habits.
    and with such a realization, you have to stop telling yourself that someday you'd be someone
    but just for today i'll take it easy.
    you'd actually have to get up and get going.

    its scary when you know that you can't put it off
    and when you fuck up, there's possibly little / no time
    for an attempt at recovery.

    and it scares me.
    i think i squandered away too much of my youth,
    that i now have lesser.
     and doubly hard too, i'd have to work,
    to get back where i should be.

    and back to reflecting back,
    they weren't squandered away very wisely.
    it wasn't worth the while.

    <3.





    Currently
    Dolly (Box Set)
    By Dolly Parton
    see related

Thursday, 19 November 2009

  • when pictures fail.


    it's really easy to wake up each day,
    to know that your worries and discontentment are that of grades,
    weight and the weather amongst many other frivolous wants.

    to wake up every morning feeling whole and complete.

    i think i'm really blessed to still have with me
    awesome friends, close-knit family and a kick ass boyfriend.

    i is happy.



    Currently
    Animal Farm
    By George Orwell
    see related

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Sunday, 08 November 2009

Saturday, 03 October 2009